Cold is...

-13ºC, but it really feels like -21º C, according to weather.com. That's cold. And deceptive too, what with the sun being out and all.

So, today I got a call from Harper, the college I attend, saying my class isn't on tonight. Which is awesome, because I'm still pretending I have class. :) I'm so naughty. Not really. I've just been working my arse off and need to get out of here. Tomorrow night Frances has her book club, so I'll be working late, and Thursday she's meeting some friends for drinks, so I'll be working til about 9:30. I'm tired.

So yeah. No idea what I'll be doing tonight. There's a chance I'll go to a movie, but I might just end up at the library. I don't mind either way. That's what my life has become.

I'm going to have a chat to Frances tomorrow night about my hours. I was going to do it tonight, but I don't want her to be hurrying home from her book club tomorrow night and then being shitty with me for making her feel guilty or something for being out. But then again, they ARE her kids....

Wooooh- saaaaaaaah

So, I've pretty much resigned myself to staying here. It was touch and go last week. It was the first time I've been terribly unhappy and upset and haven't been able to blame it on PMS. I'm unhappy with the whole situation, generally, and I know it won't get any better.

I wanted to talk to Frances about how much I'd worked the week before (44 hrs, 15 mins, not including time spent doing laundry), but it didn't seem right when I only worked 28hrs last week, not including laundry time. Today though, Sarah was home sick from school, so I worked exactly 12 hours. I'm not sure if she's home tomorrow as well, but if she is I'll have a chat to Frances about how many hours I'm working tomorrow night, and if she can come home earlier when the kids are off school or sick.

The way I see it, it's four months. All I keep thinking about is Germany and seeing Lara again and then coming HOME. I'm taking things one week at a time. I was going to take it one day at a time, but it seemed to make the days go longer. I can't say I'm thrilled with the whole prospect, but at least this way, when I go home, I can at least say I made it to a year.

Also, I have a possible New York buddy, which is good, so I won't be alone the entire time I'm there.

So, this weekend that just passed, Frances and the kids went to Wisconsin for winter camp. I was invited but it was Kelly's farewell dinner. :(



After her dinner I met up with some of the Brazillian girls for drinks at a cocktail lounge near home.

Saturday I held a pavlova get-together at my place. =) It was pretty good. It was nice to just not have the family around and be surrounded by people that don't make me miserable. Oh, and the pav turned out excellently and lasted about 2 seconds.



I wanted to hire The Castle, but they didn't have it here. So it was a toss between Ned Kelly and The Dish, and in the end it was The Dish, cos Ned Kelly didn't work. Grrr!! But yeah, it was a nice night.

The next day I saw Kelly for possibly the last time - in the US (she's from Melbourne). I had a bunch of girls over and we were watching a movie/scrapbooking and she came over to give me some of the stuff she doesn't need/can't fit in her luggage. :)

So yeah, that was my weekend. It was nice. I even though it should have been awesome, I really can't work up the enthusiam for it too much.

Oh, and my shoulders hurt from shovelling snow this arvo - and it wasn't even much snow!! Like, just 2 cm or something. Maybe it was a heavy shovel... or maybe I need to pay a visit to a gym...

I hope Sarah's not off school tomorrow. :( I just want to go to the library and read the stuff I need to for tomorrow's class in peace.

Slump

I'm stuck. I'm down and I seem to be unable to get up. I'm not sure if this is temporary or permanent. How does one tell? If it's temporary, then I can't see the end. If it's permanent, but I treat it as temporary, then I'll be waiting and waiting for it to get better, but it won't.

I wrote to Nicole, the former au pair, today about how I'm feeling at the moment and she said:

"nothing has changed. NOTHING! OMG i feel so bad for you sarah! i cant explain how bad i feel ... because i knew exactly whats going on and sometimes i thought i should have warned you *laugh* but then i thought it might just be me who feels that way about the kids, the parents etc. but when i read your blogs i had the feeling that was me who posted that. seriously!!!!"

I feel a bit better knowing that it's not just me. Actually, I feel A LOT better knowing that, because that's been one of the tough things, thinking that out of all these au pairs they've had, I'm the only one with problems.

Flying Solo

So Jonas, understandably, has decided there's no point flying all this way and spending all that money just for one week's vacation, and as such, has decided not to come. It's not a surprise. I've been waiting for the call since Daniel said he couldn't come because the police force wouldn't let him do his course by correspondence.

Now I just have to figure out what to do by myself for a week. I still want to go to New York. I'll talk to nan tonight and see whether she still wants me to go to Toronto to visit our family friends. I wouldn't mind doing that still, because it would be nice to see them all, it's just that I don't really know them, and I know nan wanted the boys to visit them aswell.

Last week I worked 44 hrs and 15 mins, not including the time I spent doing laundry. After that I was just so tired that I decided to have a lazy weekend and just hung out with Kelly and scrapbooked. Next week she leaves to go on a little vacation and then she's off back home to Melbourne.

118 days to go.

Frustrating Day

Today's just been frustrating. Especially the last half hour. Actually, it hasn't been that hard, it's just been hectic, but then we can have all the great/easy days in the world and one of the kids screws it up and pisses me off in the end. Today it was Sarah. Argh.

Anyway, only half an hour til Frances gets home. Thank god. She went out for dinner tonight. Good for her. Meanwhile, because she's having a lovely dinner out, Jack has had to go to bed 45 mins late, which I'll have to pay for tomorrow. The reason that he went to bed late is that we had to pick Sarah up from gymnastics which ends at 9. The reason she screwed today's ending up was because I'd told her repeatedly when I dropped her off that she needs to be at the car as soon as she's done because Jack needs to be in bed. So what's she doing when we get there? Decides that she has to get a bunch of sheets from the office and they need to be photocopied. I get it, she needed them because it was for her routine or whatever. Fine. But she should have cut out the small talk and said, "Look, I'm so sorry to speed this up, but I've got my nanny and my little brother waiting in the car for me." People understand urgency. They get it. But no, that's not the Sarah thing to do.

So now I'm annoyed at her because I had to go out several times in the snow to remind her to hurry the eff up, and Jack's going to be a grumpy bum in the morning.

Serenity now.

Meanwhile, I had a chat to my LCC today. An LCC is the Local Childcare Coordinator, basically the local Cultural Care rep for the families and au pairs to go to for advice or with problems or whatnot. My LCC, Jennifer, is awesome. She's so good. She told me that they can't do what they did with my holidays and stuff after they'd told me they would give me the two weeks together, and that she'll talk to them about it if I want. I told her not to worry. I'm pretty resigned to the fact that now I won't see the West Coast. I'm not happy about it, but I'm resigned. Besides, if she told them they had to give me the two weeks together then I'm sure the lead-up to my vacation would be difficult to deal with, and also the weeks until I leave. What I think I'll do is leave a week earlier. That means I'll go to Germany May 22nd instead of May 29th. It's that or hang around the house for a week, because why would I want to spend money on a holiday at the end by myself? I'm still frigging pissed though. I'll tell Frances tomorrow the dates that I want to go.

Oh crap - I forgot. I don't know if I'll be allowed to leave that early because my last class is the week before.

OK. Now, I'm really cranky.

YAY!!!!!

Hooray!!! What a wonderful way to begin the day. Woke up ridiculously early because now I have to in order to ensure Sarah is ready for school. GRRRRRRRR. Anyway, woke up early and remembered that uni offers come out today.

Ok, I'm lying. It's been the only thing I could think about for a week. That, and how much I hate everyone right now. ;)

So I logged on and through lids that would not open discover:
You have received an offer to:
Bachelor of Teaching/Bachelor of Arts University of Newcastle (Calaghan campus)

Woohoo!!!! I'm so excited. It means I have to move, but that's ok - Heya Em!!! Look who's coming to visit!!!

So the new system's fantastic. Who'da thunk you could do everything online these days? Like, I know in 2002 we applied online and could view our offers online, but we had to accept through the post, and then if we want to defer we had to do it on a seperate letter. But I just did everything online this morning. I've accepted and deferred til next year. I almost don't want to wait, and just want to start right now! But, I have loads to do before then.

Oh, and because of the course, I can choose to do either secondary English teaching or Primary education. =)

So that's my exciting news.

In not so exciting news, I had my first Brit Lit class last night. I think I'm going to see if I can change to something else. It was soooo boring, and the amount of assessments the teacher's expecting is insane. I didn't do this many at uni, for Chrissakes!!! Plus, the major novel we're reading is Jane Eyre, and I read that for Women's Lit last semester.

Hmmm... I'm not sure. I'll see what my options are today.

Cheers!

Tick tock, people.

So, even if I start the timer from when Jack woke up, rather than when Frances went off to work, which is a lot more lenient, then I still worked for 12 hours and 20 minutes.

I'm going to start keeping a record of these things because as of last night, I'm sick and tired of doing things for people who won't do anything for me in return.

Taking Jack and one of his friends to the Museum of Science and Industry tomorrow. Then I have my first class in the evening. I need to get out of the house and away from everyone if only for a little bit.

New Rules

Well, I made it 7 months, so I guess that's OK. I have new rules for the comments on this blog. From now on, rather than just automatically appearing on my blog, comments will now get sent to me and I'll approve them before posting them to the blog. I just think it's gotten silly, and I know it's making people really frustrated. So just post your comment as usual, but you won't see it straight away.

Today is Martin Luther King Day, and because of that, this district's schools get not only today off, but tomorrow also. Not in the mood. Especially after last night. I can't even begin to tell you how upset I was last night.

It also snowed an inch or two overnight, so we're very limited in what we can do. I think I'm just going to take Jack to the library today, and the Museum of Science and Industry tomorrow. But that means I have to shovel the driveway. I don't think there's enough snow to warrant the snow blower.

Just not in the mood. I'm really angry at the world in general right now.

Over it. Again.

I'm only allowed one week of holiday now, after I was told I can have two. Great. After I've gotten excited and have been making all these plans. I'm over it.

I'm really too angry and upset to keep going on.

Rash Update #2

Well, the doctor is stumped. She has no idea what it could be. Lol. I suggested that maybe I should just wait it out and she thinks that would be best. If it's not gone by Monday I need to get some blood tests done.

So I think I won't be dying anytime soon. =)

Rash update #1

Rash has spread to my legs so I've made an appointment to see a doctor today. I'll just put it on my credit card. I'd prefer not to be dead.

Why I should be at home

I've just gotten out of the shower and noticed that my arms were bright red in the mirror. When I actually look at them close up it's like a huge mother rash has occurred. I have no idea what the hell it is, but it can't be an allergic reaction because I'm on very expensive anti-hystamenes. And it can't be a disease-y type rash because it didn't start on my legs or head. And it doesn't itch or anything. It's weird and splotchy, and hot to the touch.

But I'm not going to the doctor because I can't afford it. Isn't that ridiculous?????? Plus, my ears are all blocked at the moment because yesterday I ran out of my tablets and have to make do with the nose spray until I get paid next week because the medication is over $100.

I tried to diagnose myself online but I couldn't come up with anything.

So yeah, if you don't hear from me for awhile it's because I'VE DIED IN THIS BLOODY COUNTRY BECAUSE I COULDN'T AFFORD TO GO TO THE DOCTOR.

Bored

Blah. The last two days have been sooooo boring. Seriously. I'm sure I didn't go over to Lara's place everyday. But I know we used to call each other everyday a few times. :S I've spent the past two days watching TV, going online and finding NOTHING has changed, preparing dinner for the night, calling people and getting their voicemail....

Oh dear!

I should use this time to catch up on my scrapbooking. I'm a little bit behind. By a little bit, I mean I'm up to New York. Anyone remember when that was? Yes, that's right, day 5 of my one year stay.

Might as well do some now, seeing as I'm not going to Starbucks or anything.

:'(

Lara's gone and I miss her already. Her plane took off about half an hour ago and she's on her way to Frankfurt, via a four hour layover in Detroit (random, I know. Airlines are weird). It's all for the best though because her situation here was making her miserable. I'm just selfish by being sad. ;)

BUT, all is not lost. I'm planning a little detour myself before I go home- GERMANY. Yup. Can't afford it, but can't be arsed waiting til... oh, 2014, which is the soonest I can imagine me being able to actually afford it. =) I shall be going there for a month so I'll be home at the end of June.

Now I just have to start saving. Not that the last week has been any help. We ended up seeing the following movies:
-Blood Diamond
-Night at the Museum
-The Pursuit of Happyness
-Borat (finally)
-We Are Marshall

3 out of 5 films were absolute tear-jerkers. Loved all of them, although, We Are Marshall kind of freaked me out with the obsession this town had with their football team. Like, it was all they had, and when the plane crashed and killed the whole team, the town basically died right there with it. Nuts.

But yeah. I've spent way too much money this week. Shall have to recuperate for the next few weeks.

Love you Lara!!

Happy New Year!!!

Hey guys, sorry I haven't posted in awhile.

Spent a week in Pittsburgh. John's family is really nice, but it was tough being around everyone 24/7. I was glad when we finally got home.

I think I'm really run down. My glands are so swollen they hurt and my joints are all stiff. I'm like a total granny! Lol. You should see me try and climb stairs. Hehe. But there's no time for sleep because I only have about 5 more days left with Lara. :(

She, Judith and I have spent the last couple of nights going to the movies. First we saw Blood Diamond, which everyone MUST see because it is just brilliant and will make you rethink your jewellery choices. Then last night we saw Night at the Museum which was just hillarious. =) Another recommendation from yours truly. I don't know whether we'll be able to go to the movies tonight because it's 7:30 and Frances isn't back yet. She'll probably get back around 8 after I've picked Jack up from Boy Scouts, and I don't know what movies are playing. See, Lara and I had grand plans to see all these movies, and then with her leaving we were like, "Oh my God! I needed to see that with you!" so we're trying to fit them in before she leaves.

So New Year's Eve came and went. It was ridiculously tame. Lol. I was working downtown for a couple of hours til 10, then met up with friends at Navy Pier and watched the fireworks, which have nothing on Sydney. Lol. Then Judith and I had to hightail it to the station to make the last train home, which we did. Unfortch, Kelly and her friends missed their train, so when I got home I jumped in a car and drove to a different station to pick them up and drop them at the station they were supposed to be going to (stupid Metra and their crappy train timetable) and eventually crashed at 5am having not even touched a drop of alcohol. =) Lol.

So that's me up to date. Can't be arsed uploading the photos. Way too much effort. ;)